Interview with an Ingénue

Ingénue:n. an endearingly innocent and inexperienced young girl

                                                                           

Here, gals, is a fun new feature.  I have discovered that it’s not just grown gals that have information that we’d like to know. Our diminutive divas have something to share, so, one by one, I’m gonna give them their chance.  Hence: Interview with an Ingénue.

Ingénue: Laina                     Age: 3

 

What is your favorite music genre?

....mmmmm, pwincess.

Ok. Who is your favorite actress?

....mmmm, PWINcess.

What is the best way to wear this scarf?

uhhh

Like, how would you put that on? (I touch the scarf and scoot it towards her)

I don't wanna put dat onnnn

How would you put it on ME?

uhhh...but, I can't do it aww dah way

Ok. Just try some. Here. I'll come sit closer to you. If I put it here.....what would you do first? (I put the scarf in front of her in a heap and pick up a corner and then drop it) Oh I don't even know where to start. What would you do first?

She scoots a little closer to the scarf and starts to fiddle with it with her head cocked to one side

uhhh....make it like a soohcull (circle) She picks up different pieces and, with a strategy all her own, she folds different pieces into the center of the heap.

Nice. And then how would you put that on my neck?

Wuhl..dus like dis..and den it goes liiike dis (she lifts the heap, twirls it a little and then sets it down) Das dah way ih is. (She sits back on her haunches, very satisfied, and then picks up the bangles laying in front of her)

Okay. And just like pick it right up and throw it over? (I pick up the now more linear heap and arrange it on my shoulders and neck)

Yeah

Like that?

Yeah!

Okay, I love it.

Your favorite shoes are these Cinderella wedges, right? What is your favorite thing about them?

mmm....dese (these)

What color are they?

Uhh...blue

Like, what do you like about them?

Dehw (they're) spawkly like inside like dis (she turns the one that I have lifted to show me the glitter on the front)

Denim, like jean, in fashion for 2013 or out?

mmm...OUT (she really takes almost no time to answer. It makes me have serious questions about my outfits for the upcoming season)

Silver tone or gold tone? (I hold up the contrasting bangles that she's been playing with. She looks back and forth, examining)

mmm.....dat

Silver.

What do you think? The big debate in fashion right now. Red lip or nude lip? (I pick up and remove the lids of the two lipstick shades I brought for her visuals. A spark lights in her blue peepers, and she rises from sitting position to kneeling. I now have her interest)

Dat.

Red. Why do you say red?

uhhh, but I sink pink. (again, I'm evaluating my fashion choices. Seems that really no one can decide between these two shades! I decide I'll continue alternating them)

Who is the dreamiest prince of your dreams?

Sleeping Beauty (the prince)

I like him too. Also he can sing.

He can't sing

Why?

Cause dah PEOPLE can sing

The people can sing?

Yeah, but dey hafta dance fuh dah people sings

You're right. They dance when the people sing.

yeah (How could I not remember the ballroom scene at the end of the movie? She's not looking at me as she talks, though. She's examining the cosmetics in front of her)

What's dis? (She holds it to my eyes in her outstretched hand)

Lipstick.  Would you like to put some on in a minute? (You're welcome, Evie)

Wull, I wanna put some on now (She tries to work off the lid of the MAC tube. I promise we can put some on after we finish our questions)

Laina, what is the one thing you have to have in your hand before you leave the house?

Pwincess!                                    

Which princess?

Miss 'Punzel (If you know her, this was not at all a surprise. She routinely dons her "Miss 'Punzel" wig and places her plush Pascal on her shoulder while she walks around the house)

Floral notes or musky notes in your fragrance? (I hold up to her nose my examples of the two: Givenchy Play for Her (floral) and Victoria's Secret Rapture (musky). She closes her eyes a little and a slight smile starts on her face for the Givenchy. When I offer the Rapture, her eyes pop open, and she pulls back her snarled face and shakes her head. I deduce that she prefers floral)

Can I put dis on? (She again holds up the lipstick. Evie (Mommy) instructs her to wait. I proceed with my next question in hopes of distracting her)

Why didn't Cinderella just go back and get her shoe of the stairs? How come she ran away? Why didn't she just go back and get it? I mean, it was just a couple steps, really.

I don't know....when I...when I was Cindawella, I lost my sue too. (She elegantly lifts her leg with her toe precisely pointed to demonstrate for me her bare foot)

When YOU were Cinderella, you lost YOUR shoe too?

Yeah. (Gently to me, like, of course I did, honey. That's what happens when you're Cinderella in your life)

Did you go back and get it? (the shoe)

Yes.

So why do you think Cinderella go back and get it?

I don't know, but da guy git it foh huw and see wunned away fwom him. (She says this with dramatic tones as if she's really shocked and disappointed by Cindy's behavior)

Do you like Rapunzel better blonde or brunette?

Mmmm..bwown haiuh

What or who is the best companion for a true lady?

Cindawella

Ok. Always good to have Cinderella. This is my last question. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

(inaudible) Do you wanna see my Cindawella dahw? (She slides off her perch on the couch next to my makeups and asked her question while she's already on her way to retrieve it)

See? (She returns holding the doll up higher than her head for the benefit of my tall, grown-up gaze) See lost huw hewe sue when see was in da movie. See lost huw sue. Dauh's a cown, and see has a dwess. See stand when see dance wis da pwince. ("She lost her here shoe when she was in the movie. She lost her shoe. There's a crown, and she has a dress. She stands when she dances with the prince". I'm dying from the adorbsness of the pride this girl has in all her princess world. I try to redirect her back to my final question)

So Laina, what do you think you're going to be doing when you're 8?

I'm fwee now.

What do you think you'll be doing when you're 8 years old? Will you be in 3rd grade?

No. (She's wrapping the spare diaper I had in my purse around her leg like some sort of progressive accessory)

Oh. Will you be in school, or will you already be working?

Uhhh....I'll beee aaa pwincess.

As an 8 year old princess, what do you think you'll do for fun?

See....dances wis da pwince.

What else?

See does go wis anothuw pwince.

Right. One prince at a time! Right?

(We go back and forth with some conversation about princesses riding horses and engaging in gratuitous dancing sessions. I decide that it's time for the lipstick. This kid has waited long enough. I ask her if she would like to put some on, and she picks up her chubby painted toes in quick succession and makes her way back to me. I open the tubes for her and give her a choice between the two. She painstakingly slides the waxy stick across her pout until there is a nice, thick layer of MAC Myth coating her lippies. She then takes the tube of Revlon 645 Red Revival and applies a thick layer on top of the pale pink shade. It's a goopie statement, and it translates perfectly. She's a natural.

She leaves for a moment and returns with a bottle of her own fragrance. The bottle bears pictures of happy, dancing Disney princesses in all their pastel glory. Glitter floats through the liquid inside. She holds the spray to my nose so I can enjoy its fruity aroma. A perfect beginning for what I can already see will be a lifetime of stylish living. Welcome, Laina. Welcome to this unrivaled universe of ever-changing, ever-entertaining, never disappointing outward expression of all the precious thoughts and dreams that have already begun to sprout in your little, glittery soul.